That thought hit me earlier today. "Today is June 15th, 2013." Do you know the significance of that date? It probably isn't significant to many people, but it is to me. I honestly don't know how many times I repeated this date. June 15th, 2013.
Today was going to be my wedding.
I say the word "was" with mixed emotions. Because yes, there was some pretty real sadness that caused that word to be so. And when I called Mom earlier, I did get choked up for a few minutes, unashamedly so. Even now, there's still a bit of a lump in my throat when I think back on the past year and the path that God has led me on in it. But I say mixed emotions because there has been some very real joy in the last year as well. God has used this last year to completely re-make me, and for that I am eternally grateful. And like I told Mom, I've discovered my purpose. My purpose is to be a reflection of God's serenity to people when their lives are in chaos, and the events that caused the word "was" are the events that have made it possible for me to be strong in the area of empathy.
Because life doesn't always work out the way we planned it. Actually it rarely does. We write our plans in pencil, as someone I know once said. And God often takes us through pain to get us to where he wants us. The most beautiful diamond is the one that has gone through the most pressure for the longest time, and so it is with us, and God knows that, and he does it for that exact purpose, to mold us into the image of his son.
And so it is with joy that I look back on the events of the past year. I'm not going to say "the good and the bad" because truthfully, God has used every one of them for good. Even the ones that hurted a whole awfully lot. So I've found that hurt and pain are not bad; they are simply part of life, and accepting them as such, and trusting that God's will is best even when it isn't easiest, is what has brought joy to my life.
June 15th, 2013 is done (technically it's the 16th, about 2am) and I am not a married man, nor is my good friend Dana my bride. Because God has allowed our plans to be rewritten, and we don't know what the new plan looks like yet. And that is okay.
Look to the promises of scripture, I keep telling my friends. Look to the promises, and one of the promises is this: "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. His mercies are new every morning;" and oh, my God, "Great is your faithfulness."
So with eager joy I look ahead now to June 16th, and to the next day and the next year, to my dear Lord who loves me enough to give me saving grace many years ago, and sustaining grace each day now. Because the God of the universe is the God who is near, and for tomorrow and the rest of my life, I will confidently live in that truth.
