I want to die.

No, I personally don't, but I've read that statement more times than I wish was true. 

Sometimes when I'm bored, I surf the internet looking at sites related to MLIA, often with stories/snippets from peoples' lives. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're witty, but sometimes they're sad, and some of them make my heart ache. Like this one:

"I want to die. I refuse to sleep most nights because of the nightmares I have. My fake smiles have become so good that even the person who used to see through them can't tell anymore. Someone help me because I'm about to lose it. And everyone is too focused on their own problems to see it. "

I have no idea who wrote that. But I do know that somewhere, someone is hurting, and I desperately want to help them. I want to make a difference! 

I don't really care if I have famous accolades, drive a Lexus, write books, and have a name that everyone recognizes, but I want to make a difference in peoples' lives. 

How, oh how on earth do I do that the best? By faithfully plodding along in the task to which God has called me. 

I'm doing my internship this summer, as many of you know, at my home church in Carroll, IA. Each week Pastor and I get together and talk for about two hours, and during the course of one of our chats, we got to talking about difficulties a church has. After we talked about that subject for awhile, he leaned back and asked, with a hint of a smile, "So, do you still want to do this; be a pastor, that is?" I said to him, "I know that this is what God has called me to do, but to tell you the truth, it scares me to death. . . ."

"GOOD!" he replied almost before I had finished. "If you ever lose either one of those thoughts, it's time to look for another line of work." 

This is how I want to make a difference. By seeking to live with integrity and discernment, by loving people as they come my way, by preaching His powerful Word at every opportunity I'm given, and by faithfully serving as I see opportunity. 

Dear friend, find what God has called you to do. Then, don't lose focus on the goal; don't miss the forest for the trees, but don't miss the trees for the forest either, and put your all into your task, and God will richly bless.